Not much today but I overheard on the preaching about to rejoice in the Lord always, because God’s mercy is everywhere. The preacher also talked about Psalm 57:
Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me,
for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.
2 I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who vindicates me.
3 He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me—[c]
God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.
4 I am in the midst of lions;
I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.
5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
6 They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.
7 My heart, O God, is steadfast,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
8 Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
9 I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
Wow this passage made me think about my situation. Hopeless, desperate and with nowhere to turn, God is telling me to trust in him and not to worry. I will expand more on this in my personal battle sections as this is an area that I need a lot of help in.
Day 4
Not much happened today,
Saw a friend of mine and her son and we talked about faith. My friend is also going through a divorce so she has been going to church and praying a lot. I don’t know her to well but wonder if she was like me, trying to turn to God because of my situation.
Not long ago, I went on a religious retreat for men and they meet every other week. Tonight, I didn’t make the meeting and feel kind of strange for missing the meeting. Going to that meeting refreshes me for the week.
About the meeting:
It feels going when you are around people who can admit that they sin but at least try so hard to better themselves.. These are people that most people look at and think they are the most Godly people around. Most of them are active in the church an some hold positions.
Yet, here we sit together and talk about how we do sin and that we do make mistakes almost on a daily basis.
Day 5
On the radio, I heard the preacher talk about Mary questioning Jesus when her brother died. Jesus responded by telling her it was for the glory of God.
This is hard for me to comprehend, because you always hear that we go through hard times to teach us lessons and to show us the glory of God. I remember reading about the story, footprints in the sand. This is where God carried us through the hard times in our life.
I just don't understand how loosing my children can bring me closer to God. It's easy to say to wait for the final outcome but there have been situations that still have not brought me closer to God. Without saying to much, I have a daughter that has not been in my life in many years, What lesson am I supposed to learn from not having my daughter in my life. Are we supposed to both learn a lesson from this separation?
I know when you talk about faith, it is always that we have to wait for the end outcome, but my life seems to be based on waiting for the end outcome.
I ended up meeting with a friend of mine named Jessie and we discussed this for awhile. It was a good conversation but also taught me that there are so many people searching in life..
